My In-Laws

For as rocky as we started out . . . granted she was their first and only daughter . . . I am lucky to have the in-laws that I do. I know so many people who are uncomfortable or unhappy when they "have-to" spend time with their in-laws. For me, spending time with my in-laws is just like spending time with any other part of my family. I know I can be myself. I am always comfortable. When I visit with them, they make me feel comfortable and included. When they visit with us, they are like having good friends over.

My Mother-In-Law (K) is one of the few people close to me I can talk politics with, without getting into a screaming match. I love to talk politics, but only with people who can be rational. Even though we disagree, we can listen to each other and talk intelligently about what we believe. I always know where I stand with her and I know she does all in her power to support our family and our marriage.

My other Mother-In-Law (T) is always there to support us when we need her. She is kind to a fault and always steps-up when she's needed. She makes us excellent food every Tuesday! She makes sure we always feel welcome and loved. She also looks out for all our pets. I am sure we would have buried a dog or a cat by now, if not for her keen eye.

My Father-In-Law (TD) is always willing to listen to my latest hair-brained idea and is right there to help me try and "put-it-together". We wouldn't have had vegetable garden or a dog kennel if it wasn't for him. And we would probably still be unpacking boxes. We wouldn't have had a new driveway or all that great landscaping he did for us at our old house. He's a fun guy to hang around with and always good for laugh when your blue.

Warning, I gotta add some mush.

The whole reason I started posting about the important people in my life, was to let all my readers know about the people who guided me through growing-up and who helped me to, well, GROW-UP.

There are a few more people I have to talk about. It will take a few posts. . .

First, my Mother. She only got a passing reference in a single entry, but she has been there for me, always. I take for granted that my readers know how much I appreciate all that she has done for me. But maybe you don't know. My mom always encouraged me. Never let me believe I wasn't capable of anything. She was my den mother, in cub scouts, my taxi driver in middle and high school and my moral compass throughout everything.

Just because you have a compass, though, doesn't mean you look at it as often as you should! But a compass will always guide you back when you find yourself off the road and lost in the wilderness. Mom, you always guided me back, and you still do.

Thank you.

How to read a blog

When a blogger begins blogging, he does so as a means of communicating to his readers information which he deems pertinent or informative. I blog so that the people who I don't communicate with as often as I should, have a chance to know what is going on in my life, and what is driving the decisions that I have made.

Every blogger, this blogger included, hopes to solicit a bunch of comments letting him know that people are reading, that people care about what he is posting, that this enterprise of writing these blog entries is useful to someone other than himself.

A blogger hopes to spark a conversation with others who are interested in what he has to say.

So if you find some interesting article. If you want to tell me all the reasons I am crazy for, oh I don't know, wanting to raise goats!!, add a comment. I'll respond. We can have a conversation. That is what I hope for in this blog. That's why I'm writing these things. All the people who are reading these posts are people who's opinions I value. I hope to hear more from you!!

Making Maple Syrup

I have ten large sugar maple trees on the property. I am thinking of tapping them this year and making maple syrup. It's a lot of work to make maple syrup. It takes a gallons of sap to make a quart of syrup. But I think it will be fun to do. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Crap

One mushy post about my wife turned into a theme on this blog. One that I was hoping to avoid. Whenever you start to talk about people you appreciate, you realize you missed someone, that someone might not take this or that the right way. This is why I try not to create a bunch of posts about family. This blog got mushy. Yuck! But I want you to know:

My Brother Jack is one of the greatest guys, with the biggest heart I know.
My Sister Carrie is someone who will always listen and never let you lie to yourself.
My Sister Becky will always stand up for you and never do anything to hurt you.
My Mom is just the greatest woman I ever knew. I don't think I can say much more.
My Grandma is the strongest and most loving woman I ever knew.

My cousins, Laura, Mike, Mikey, Jason, Anna, Chelsea and Jacob are to me what little brothers and sisters are to most other people I know. I miss them.

I could spend a whole post writing about how important each of the people are and have been in my life. I hope they know it. However, I never wanted this blog to be a mushy gushy "Gol'ley Beav, ain't we lucky" kinda thing. So this is the end of it.

Pops

Unlike having three mothers. I only had one Dad. My paternal grandfather passed away when I was 2 and I never knew my maternal grandfather. There was only my Dad. My dad taught me how to fish, how to swim, how to "be tough" and how to be strong.
But these are the most important lessons I think my dad taught me:

1. We all make mistakes, but a real man admits it takes his licks. Those of you out there who know my dad, might think I was on some drug when writing this. Hearing my dad say the words "I'm sorry" in any really sincere way are about as likely as wining the Pick 5. But, dad has his way of letting you know. And when he knows he's wrong (which, dad, I know NEVER happens ;)) he will let you know he's sorry. I spent many years avoiding my mistakes, afraid of what people would think of me, if I wasn't perfect. It was watching my dad that taught me, a man is not afraid of his mistakes, he owns them and owns up to them.
2. Life is too short to waste on worrying. Don't waste your energy holding grudges. Enjoy everyday you get.
   
3. Find a woman who will love you even on the days she can't stand to look at you.
4. Find a woman you love even on the days you can't stand to look at her.
5. Know your own weaknesses. We all have them, if you know them, you can laugh with everyone else about them.
6. Be yourself, because being someone else is too much work.
7. Stand up for what you believe, even it makes other people angry.
8. Never let only the fact that someone disagrees with you (about politics or business or anything else) change the way you treat them.
9. No matter how angry someone gets with you, don't go away. The longer they have to deal with you as a living breathing person in front of them, they shorter their anger will last.
10. Don't back down from a fight but never start one.

Three Mothers

As a kid growing up, I basically had three mothers. I realize this more and more as I see the relationships that exist in other people's families. When I talk about my mom's sisters, my aunts, there is a special relationship there. Something more than what most other people mean by "my aunt" anyway. My mom's two sisters were a part of raising me. Their kids are more like brothers and sisters to me than cousins. I was always expected to obey them as if they were my parent, I was loved by them as if I were their child. They are a big part of who I am. They helped get me through a really tough adolescence (that ended when I was like 24 . . . ) and I know they are always there if I ever need them.

Now I 'm married. As an adult I have three mothers again. I have a step-mom-in-law, a mom-in-law, and of course my own wonderful mother. It's not that my aunts are not around anymore but they are all in different places, and I am not a great nephew who writes letters or emails or calls on the phone to stay in touch. Course, I'm not a great son that way either, but that's another blog.

I am a lucky guy to have had so many wonderful women who helped me grow into a responsible adult. I hope someday I can repay them for their nurturing and love.

[I cannot let this go out without some kind of "smat***" comment, because then it just wouldn't be me]

But the more I think about it, the more I start to question if the real reason my relationships with my aunts has slowed down has more to do with the fact that three mothers are quite enough for any guy and six might just drive him crazy.